Back Where It All Started For Us ((Angel))

[Seoras Reinard]

Seoras felt horrible. This is to say nothing about how he looked, which would have scared a blind man at 30 yards. The side of his face was swollen and bruised, his nose was broken, and there was a small fracture in his cheek bone, courtesy of the fist of Artemis Saggezza. All in all a very bad look for him. But however bad he looked, his heart ached far worse from all the trouble he had gotten himself into. He had gone and fallen in love with two beautiful girls at the same time. That's what started this mess. He had been talking to Artemis, she had asked him if he had a girlfriend, and he had told her his situation. Lindsay just had to be walking right by when he said it too...Now Lindsay hated him, Artemis hated him, and he was about to go for a 3 for 3 with Angel. He certainly didn't WANT her to hate him, but if the other two were any indication...

Seoras sat, head down, at a picnic table in the park. This particular picnic table happened to be under the same pavilion where he and Angel had effectively first met and fallen in love. He had called Angel earlier that day and asked her to meet him there. He looked at his watch...about five minutes until the time they had set...He leaned back, trying to think of how he was going to say what he knew had to be said. He loved Angel, and he loved Lindsay at the same time, even though she couldn't stand the sight of him, and he didn't know what to do any more. The only thing he was sure of was that Angel needed to know and decide for herself if she still wanted anything to do with him. Seoras knew she would be hurt, no question about that, but whether she would be able to forgive him or not was more the point. His heart had broken over and over again from what had happened with Lindsay and Artemis, and he was sure it would break a few more times with Angel. No matter what it cost him; emotionally, physically, spiritually, grammatically; he had to do this...

[Angel]

Angel walked throught the park and towards the pavillion. She had gotten a call from Seoras earlier and sounded a bit upset, this made her worry a little so she headed over there. Once in sight of the pavillion she saw him sitting there she somewhat ran over to him. Noticing his face, her eyes opened wide and she covered her mouth as she rushed beside him " oh my god hun what happened?" she asked really worried as she touched his face softly.

[Seoras Reinard]

Seoras looked up and saw Angel coming toward him. "Well, here we go..."

He tried not to wince when she touched his face, gentle though she was it was still tender. "It's kind of a long story, and part of the reason I really wanted to talk to you. You might want to sit down first," he said, guiding her to the bench and sitting himself. He took a deep breath and did his best to jump right in. "I...well...I've made a huge...mistake, I guess. I've fallen in love...with two people. You...and Lindsay Kelley." He cringed, knowing what sort of look would be on her face once this sunk in. Might as well keep going, get the whole thing out...

"Yesterday I was in the courtyard at school talking to Artemis. We'd never really met before, but she was nice. She asked me if I had a girlfriend, and I tried to explain how confused I was, being in love with two wonderful girls. I still don't have any idea how it happened...But Lindsay was walking right by when I said it. She...she heard and she...and she ran. And Artemis, well she did this," he said indicating his face. "She was so mad, and she had every right to be, she cares about you and Lindsay too much not to be...she left after awhile and I wanted to go see if I could fix this, so I went to Lindsay's apartment, but I passed out right in front of her door and she called the police and an ambulance. I woke up and I tried to talk to her, but I-I didn't know what to say and she hid in her room. There wasn't really anything to say I guess...no excuse, no way to explain any of this. The cops and the paramedics arrived, and then Artemis showed up..." He trailed off, figuring he had said more than enough. He sighed heavily and waited for her reaction. No matter what, it wouldn't be good..."I'm sorry..." he whispered. "It might not mean much, but I am..."

[Angel]

Angel was confused but she sat down anyways looking at him waiting for his explaination. Hearing th ewords the soft worried look faded fomr her facial features, instead it was replaced with a look of sorrow, deep sorrow. She tried to understand as she listened to it all wondering how this happened. Once he was finished she tried to say something but barely anything was coming out " how could..... but you said...... but i thought........ " nothing but a few words of many questionis she wanted to ask could come out, she thought he was sweet and that he was different, he'd broken he rheart like every other guy tears started streming down her face as she tried to figure this out still.

[Seoras Reinard]

"No...why did I...? Because you had to, that's why. You love her and you had to tell her."

Seoras moved closer and tried to half-hug her, very timidly, praying she wouldn't throw him away from her. He brought his hand up to her face and tried to gently wipe away her tears. "Please...don't cry...I'm not worth it...I'm sorry............" he whispered, on the verge of tears himself. Not for him, but for her. Seeing people hurt, especially someone he loved, cut deep. Deeper because he knew he had caused her this pain, and deeper still because there was really nothing he could do about it. There was nothing...he would do anything...but there wasn't anything left...

[Angel]

Angel felt te cold wet ears rolling down her cheek. She watched as he came closer as she stood up and backed away " how could you...... you said i was the one" she said as more streamed down. She ran her fingers through her hir stoping gatheirng this is as she tried not to cry " what happened, i thought you said we were together" she said. This cut deep into her heart making her feel worse than she has ever felt making a scar that would last forever.

[Seoras Reinard]

"What do I do...what can I do..."

He had no idea. Not a good one at least.

"I could say I don't love Lindsay...but I'd be contradicting myself already and that would be a lie...you don't get over someone you love in a single day...It wouldn't help anyways...she would know I was lying...But what if I...?

The tears he had been holding back started to leak out, and he dropped his arm and looked at the ground. What could he say? He screwed up more in one shot than most people had the chance to in a life-time. There was no way to fix this as far as he could see...

He turned his head to look up at her, his world edged in water. "I...I know what I said...I have no excuse...nothing will make this any easier...and what's worse is that I still love her while I still love you...she can't stand me...I've broken too many hearts, most were my own...but your's are more important..." He couldn't look at her any longer, he just wasn't strong enough for something like this all over again. He wanted to run, but he wanted to stay. No ideas, no excuses, no rest from the pain...and it was all his fault.

[Angel]

Angel jusr shook her head as shwiped away her tears. She couldn't believe what was happening, she had finally found someone she had so much in common with then he went and did this to her. She couldn't handle being around him right now she had to leave. She looked up at him, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks, as she now falling apart " who needs you pity huh?, i don't" she said as she turned slowly and walked away

[Seoras Reinard]

"Angel..." he whispered as she turned and walked away. He wanted to go after her, tell her to wait, but he knew it would do nothing but harm. It also would hurt that he had nothing he could say.

He slammed his fist down on the picnic table in frustration at his own pathetic existance. "Damnit! Why do I do this to myself? What the hell is wrong with me? I've hurt everyone I love...and I can't even fix this...I don't deserve them, they're too good for me."

Fresh tears streamed down his face as he hit the table again, not caring what happened to himself or his now-stinging hand. He stopped hitting the table and just lay his head down on it, making a water stain on its old wood top.

[Angel]

Angel stopped to tell him just one more thing " you kno what hurts the most is that truly loved you and that i might of actually found someone i could be with for a long time, silly me" she said sniffling as she turned around again to let him think about that and might make him decide who he would have chosen.

[Seoras Reinard]

"NO! Stop crying! Just stop! Get up and go after her you idiot!!!" screamed the voices in his head, and for once he listened to them. He quickly swung his legs over the bench and stood up, wiping his face with his sleeves.

"Angel..." Wait a second, wait a second. Why was he going after her? Did he even have a chance of getting her back, at least to where she could stop hating him and they could be friends? Time to weigh the possibilities...

Lindsay couldn't stand the sight of him, and made every effort to avoid him. She had moved on from him to go be with Pete. As long as she was happy...but Angel was still here. She hadn't gotten over him or gone after another guy. Granted she hadn't had the time to do that yet, but that still should give him a chance...It was like a puzzle: if you have two answers that look correct, but upon further checking one turns out to be off, then the other must be right, right? Lindsay was clearly the wrong answer here, so that left him with only one choice, and he very willingly took it: Angel.

"Angel...I've felt that way from the first moment I saw you...Nothing mattered to me but you..." he said, taking a step toward her. His voice dropped so that it was barely audible, even to himself. "You are so very beautiful...and I love you..."

[Angel]

Angel stopped asnd slowly turned around " what?" she asked in barely a whisper as she looked up at him with a sad face wet with tears as she lietened to him. She listened but couldn't believe, what he was saying was probably partially true but part of it wasn't, " How could i be the only thing that mattered to you when you still loved Lindsay" she said wanting to believe him but couldn't.

[Angel]

Angel stood there and thought about all of this. She pulled her guitar around and grabbed a pick out of her pocket. She then started to play somthing that came to her. Seoras had yet inspired another song, one about finding love and one about heartbreak.

"You're not sure that you love me
But you're not sure enough to let me go
Baby it ain't fair you know
To just keep me hangin' 'round

You say you don't wanna hurt me
Don't want to see my tears
So why are you still standing here
Just watching me drown


And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

You can drag out the heartache
Baby you can make it quick
Really get it over with
And just let me move on

Don't concern yourself
With this mess you've left for me
I can clean it up, you see
Just as long as you're gone

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go


You not making up your mind
Is killing me and wasting time
I need so much more than that
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road
There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go


Leave the pieces when you go
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Leave the pieces when you go"

Angel stopped playing as tears continued to fall from her eyes and down her cheek. She loved him so much and she didn't want to loose him.